Friday, January 23, 2009

Secret #3~ Following Your Fascinations

And the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more.
~Erica Jong
This chapter. Filled me with inspiration and encouragement... filled me with dread. I am not a risk-taker, or if I am, it's a very, very calculated risk and I often find I regret it afterwards. And most who've known me as an adult would never describe me as impulsive; I am completely the opposite. Add in my anxiety and depression disorders and my perfectionism and I become utterly stagnated. I am shamed by this.

But this chapter isn't about what's wrong, its about what's right. It's not about what doesn't work, it's about what does work.
I came back to the dried out work a couple of days later and looked at the crack and said 'Oh, yuck.' So I thought, it'll probably crack again but I'll just smear some of my paper clay emulsion mixture into the crack , so I did.

What did I have to lose, since I'd already lost that piece? I thought, well, if it behaves like normal, which is what I expected it to do, I figured it would crack again as it dried. Then I forgot about it and a few days later I came back, but to my surprise, the crack was gone. The piece was dry and whole.

~ Rosette Gault
This passage in chapter three was what really spoke to me. THIS is the attitude I want. What do I have to lose, might as well try it. Ahhhh... now that would be freedom. To say those words and live by them.

My intuitive voice is trying desperately to get me to try new ventures. Like this one. And oh, how I want to! I'm brimming with ideas. My hands itch for the clay. My fears and perfectionism keep me from even beginning. I've actually been avoiding my creative space.

And yet. Maybe I have begun. I found those vases. I've been researching some sculpture techniques. Searching for a blending tool (which I found just yesterday) that I think will be enormously helpful. Planning themes and designs in my head; need to get them down on paper. Looking at pictures and articles to help inspire me. Thinking about clays and embellishments that I want to use. So I guess I have begun. I'm just moving forward much more slowly than I want to be moving.

But I am moving forward.

11 comments:

Kavindra said...

Oh yes you are moving forward. I for one am quite intrigued by your vases since you posted your cryptic news about them the other day.
(and we could have a contest to see who is the more "not-risking" and I would win hands down. I have been ashamed by that too, especially as I am married to an outdoor adventurer who jumps out of planes, travels the world by himself and jumps right into what ever calls him. One day he told me that I was actually braver than him BECAUSE I had so much fear and anxiety about things but pushed through it to live my life the way I wanted. I hope that loooong story helps you too.)

Sacred Suzie said...

I loved that part of the book too! How she was a newbie and came up with something for healing clay no one else could come up and was discouraged from even trying because it wasn't possible, but it was.

I think that you need to make decisions the way you want to make decisions. Just knowing you can change your approach may actually help that happen, if that's what you want.

I am still really looking forward to what you're going to do with the vases, even if it's horrendous! Just trying is a big, big deal. You can do it my friend. Unleash a little wild spirit into those capable hands.

Genie Sea said...

Moving forward, and moving forward magnificently is what I see here. :)

todayandeveryday said...

For what it is worth, you said it all when you said: "My fears and perfectionism keep me from even beginning." I think that is BIG for most of us. However, on the flip side you may be avoiding your creative space but you are still creating: you have been researching, planing, buying. It is all coming together. You will birth this idea when it is ready and I feel you are almost there!!!
Peace and best of luck on the new project (we are all waiting with anticipation)~
Dawn

peppylady said...

I seen people who just does things at drop of a pin.
Some of the time it goes well but most of the time it some what a "mess" costing them more.
A lot of time if only they took a few minute out and did some prep it wouldn't be so costly.

Coffee is on.

Caroline said...

It sounds like you are taking excellent baby steps.

And thanks for that quote from the chapter - I'm still having to glean what I can from those of you lucky enough to have copies of the book!

Belle said...

Trying new things - reading everyone's wonderful posts I'm starting to see that it's the risk that the heart embraces that are the ones I want to take (not quite what the book says!). I am looking forward to seeing what you do with the vases! You are definitely moving forward.

gemma said...

I often have continued work on something that was lost or not what I wanted....then viola
suddenly it worked.
Don't give up!

Jenn said...

I am also a calculated risk taker. When I read that part of the chapter I had a hard time figuring out what risks I had taken since I think so much about them that they don't feel like risks at all by the time I jump in and take them.

I also know about the ugly perfectionism monster. Perfectionism really can be the enemy of the good. Sometimes it's just better to do it than worry about whether it's perfect or not. The world is full of things that are imperfect, but still really very good.

Can't wait to see what happens with those vases! A slow beginning on them is better than nothing at all.

Ananda said...

moving forward is so important. rock it all forward.

Lisa said...

Moving forward. Oh yeah, I definitely see you moving forward. I can't wait to see what those vases become!