For the past year or so, I have really been stumbling along my pagan path. There is no doubt about it, I am still a pagan and nothing is going to ever change that-- its in my heart and soul, my bones and blood. But I am really reassessing my path, and not sure where I am headed with my spirituality lately.
I used to be a solitary and all was good. Then I met many other pagans in our thriving community, and I started to do more group oriented rituals and celebrations. Group dynamics, however, are a beast, which is why I'm back to being mainly a solitary again. Sort of. There is potential for a small sisterhood of three-- my lovely Ya-Ya friends... having been burned in the recent past, I am treading carefully. But I do love those two women, so who knows what will happen? I am trying to let the Universe guide me.
In order to reconnect with my path, I started taking Wiccan Spirituality "classes" last month. An opportunity was presented to be able to learn from an elder in the pagan community, a woman I highly respect, and I had to jump at the chance. While I am coming to the conclusion that Wicca is not really my path, I hope to learn a great deal from my teacher; if nothing else, I love having the opportunity to get to know her better! She is a true spiritual beacon of light. And I believe this year of teachings with her will help me reconnect with my pagan path, whatever form of paganism that may be.
Last night's class was a wonderful discussion about connecting with the earth and its cycles, something I've felt disconnected with the past couple of years. But now I realize I'm not as disconnected as I thought, that I am still in tune with the tides. And I have hope that I can nuture that bond so that it is strong again, even stronger than before.
What is best about it all is that I have hope once again. I know I'm not lost, just stumbling around a bit.
14 hours ago